No Brownie Points?

Is the Scot drunk?

Is the Scot drunk?

When the celebrity Prime Minister (see Blair, Tony) left office, it was widely believed that the Chancellor of the Exchequer for ten years, Gordon Brown, would make a seamless transition to 10 Downing Street. And there was nothing which apparently suggested otherwise. There was such a wave of Labour support that there was even a contemplation of an early election, right then and there, to grill home the point. But, better sense prevailed.

In the ten years and two months as the Chancellor, basic tax rate was reduced from 23% to 20%. Inflation caused him to not increase the tax threshold in his last budget, as he had done with every budget. Corporation tax also fell.

Enough on taxes.

Its been about an year and a month as the Prime Minister, and how have things changed. And that is due to good reason too.

Gordon is an enemy of liberty. Quite true, what Sir Clarkson said on Top Gear. He follows the Left wing governance handbook, which in other words means, dictatorship. The liberties of smoking, eating, drinking, driving, and moving about, in general, have all been impeded upon. You cannot smoke while driving, you cannot smoke while in any public place, you will be hauled away if your smoking can be seen from outside your house, average speed cameras has made driving a painful exercise, pay tax to go into the centre of London city, you cannot shoot a fox, you cannot scold a dog, you cannot scold your children even if they are being rather idiotic, you cannot drive a Land Rover and you cannot use a patio heater. In short, sensibility has been chained to a chair and cast away in some dungeon on some Scottish hillside, probably to be tortured by dragons. They breathe fire. This can cause Global Warming

The imbecile politicians are now contemplating a 9 pm curfew on teenagers and youngsters. They believe that instituting youth curfews will bring an end to the knife crimes.

To this I ask, why? Simply because a deranged bunch of stoned hippies stabbed some people, the police are so weak that they cannot do their job, of, policing the city? If we needed curfews and bans on everything, then why are the taxpayers paying for the police? Let them do some work. They don’t catch offenders and criminals because they spend every waking hour filling up health and safety forms, which were also introduced so vehemently by your government, Prime Minister Stiff Jaw. You Idiot.

Britain has gone on the wrong side of the trade balance simply because anyone who does any sort of activity is now required to fill in a million safety forms.

Cars can crash, damage some stuff and probably injure a few people as well. Ban them? U have already ridiculously slowed them down.

Safety pins can cause injuries. Ban them?

Pretzels can get stuck in the throat, cause a blockage in the breathing and probably kill a man. Ban them?

The leg of a wooden chair can break. Ban them? And while you are at it, Ban sitting down too.

Women unfortunately sometimes die during labour. Ban the activity that causes this result? Ban child-birth? Bring an end to Humanity.

Man in general has the ability to hurt and kill anything that catches its fancy. Ban everyone from the streets?

In short, ban any kind of movement…ban all forms of life

GORDON BROWN…YOU BLOODY CRETIN…STALIN WANNABE.

This is not all, unfortunately.

Mr. Brown has interfered in every personal issue from what we eat (five pieces of fruit or vegetables a day, and feed your kids healthily or the lunchbox cops will haul you away).

Worst of all, he is a Scot. Scots, by nature, remain drunk most of the time (case in point, see David Coulthard drive an F1 car in a race). I wonder if Gordon Brown does indeed remain drunk?

Like his predecessor Tony Blair, he has a deep-running interventionist streak. Brown will seek out moral authority in places far away from home, in the hope that posing as a moral do-gooder in Africa or the Middle East will offset the crisis of legitimacy back home. And rather sadly, he is not doing a good job of it too.

Through his not well thought through policies, he has ended up pricing hundreds of thousands of people out of owning their own home. His response to the housing crisis is to propose building 100,000 new homes. Analysts say 500,000 may be needed.

Brown has shown that he fully embraces the miserabilist green outlook that says large-scale development is off the agenda and we all must expect less from life.

Gordon Brown has the charisma of a boulder. The man says that the music of Arctic Monkeys really wakes him up in the morning. I mean, What a moron?

As if this circus was not enough, along comes CLOWN JUNIOR, someone who Gordon Brown had chosen as his Foreign Secretary. David Miliband.

He has decided that Gordon Brown is quite incompetent (God bless You, Son) and that he is qualified enough to take over from him (well, will someone please tell me where this guy gets his dope from?).

This little Twat really seems to be on dope. He believes he should lead the Labour Party now and into the next general elections.

All I want to know is- Has he just woken up from a long sleep induced by cocaine Has he been living under a rock all this while? Has he just taken a walk down the mountains?

He is no doubt an extremely clever politician, but to be a prime minister, there are certain prerequisites (some missing in Mr. Brown). Let us take a look at some of them.

Courage- The Twat lets everyone who reads the Guardian know of his ambitions on PM Brown’s job when the boss is away on a holiday. Just to refresh the memory, last year, it was this very man who refused to stand against Gordon Brown, even if only to make a semblance of a contest of the whole thing. Anyway, enough said on courage. Moving On…

Judgement- or the complete lack of it, I should say. Taking over the leadership of a party, involuntarily, which is heading into an inevitable defeat, is not a great career move.

Charisma- Better than the boulder that his current boss represents. But, the only statement that anyone can recollect of him saying anything as the Foreign Secretary is that “the world is a scary place”. I would be very cross if this were to be my Prime Minister, saying such things.

To be quite nice to Mr. Miliband, there are, Sir, a few glaring vulnerabilities that you shall need to address. And most can be done away with, without too much effort, by a bag of Grass. I suggest you  let the leadership issues be handled by someone else.

In the midst of all thus buffoonery (see Party, Labour), there seems to be one man who has kept his dignity and composure intact. The man is Jack Straw. The only sensible decision, if Brown takes one, would be to let Straw handle the party leadership for the next general election. The current opinion polls, and recent by-election results suggest that Labour will be completely wiped out. Let Mr. Straw handle matters, and you all may just come out of it all with a semblance of respect.

The Tories (see, Conservatives) may not be a really competent and exquisite bunch of politicians themselves. But, nobody can see them end up doing a job worse than this Labour government. I don’t think, their leader, David Cameroon has ever done anything to annoy anyone. In fact, I don’t recollect him doing anything at all. Quite contrary to expectations, their policies changed for a more liberal and open Britain. Unlike Labour, they are also not obsessed with interfering in each and everyone’s lives.

Let us just hope that better sense prevails when the next General Elections do come round. And that the health and safety forms can be done away with. And that we can drive without mathematically calculating our average speeds every 200 metres.

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About Vishal Mathur

Geek by day, heavy sleeper by night!

One comment

  1. Siddhant

    Good goin…quite a good article on Mr Brown i hv come across ..

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