It has been an amazing ride for the much awaited iPhone in to India. The most sought after phone is finally here, legally at least. It was expected that there will be people sleeping on the pavements outside shops to buy this on launch day. The whole country, at least some cities, will come to a halt to admire the device. It was supposed to have been made in heaven and sent down by the Gods.

Let me tell you this straight, Mr. Blue Sweater (see Jobs, Steve) is no God. In fact, He gets away with blue murder all the time, every time.

The iPhone, for all it’s snob value, just doesn’t cut it as a phone. It cannot forward messages, it cannot record video, it has a terrible photo camera, it scratches even if a stiff breeze manages to brush against it, the battery cannot be changed by the user, you end up having sore fingers stabbing away at its screen all day, you cannot edit documents, the repairs cost a bomb, quite a few handset owners around the world have reported poor signal reception and by Apple’s own admission, it is not a very good software they have put in it. 

And you cannot write an sms while driving, and without crashing into something. I like it when I can sms and drive at the same time, without it being a foregone conclusion that I will have an accident. Anyway, moving on.

The software pre-loaded in the 3G’s is buggy, and Apple announced they will be updating it. If they knew that it was not perfect, why sell it in the first place, you blithering idiots. Some news reports from Europe suggest that 3G speeds in the phone are also not upto the mark. Update have been promised by Apple. Surprised?

And idiots really do become business partners very quickly. As has been proved by Apple and the Indian mobile service providers, Airtel and Vodafone. They priced the 8GB iPhone at 31k, and the 16GB is even higher. They think that the people of India cannot switch on their computers, cannot connect to the internet, and cannot find out what the prices of this phone are, in international markets. I mean, the prices here are triple of what AT&T sells them for in the States. And let me add that AT&T is no angel either.

And trust me on this, if the cellcos can do this even though they know that we live in a knowledge society and that all info is available to us regarding pricing of gadgets, I wonder what they do with our money when it comes to billing and talktime. I cannot be convinced, in any way, shape or form, that they do not cheat us on our billing.

And it’s idiots galore. One idiot, an entrepreneur, all of 22 years, went to the store at midnight, and purchased 6 handsets. One for himself, and 5 more for his friends. This when he admits that it is quite obvious that the iPhone 3G will not perform upto the mark. Then why did you spend Rs. 2 lakh (approx), you bufoon? As a friend recently wrote in his blog, this could all be very interesting for the Income Tax department. And quite true as well.

And let me make it absolutely clear, if any friend of mine ever gifts me an iPhone, his or her skull will be introduced to an MLB specification baseball bat and then that bat will be disposed off inside his or her body, where the sun don’t shine.  

Anyone who goes out and buys an iPhone knowing that the Nokia N96 is just around the corner, needs to lay off the strong cheese at night. The N96 completely thrashes the iPhone on features and configuration. Plus, it may not explode, like most Apple hardware inevitably does.

I cannot understand how Apple gets away with such blatant acts of lunacy. The iPods keep exploding around the world, still people buy them. We have established that the iPhone is junk, yet people sleep on pavements to buy it, the Macbook Air is absolutly ridiculous, yet it is considered a status symbol, the iTunes misses even the most basic features, yet nobody compains and when Apple installs Quicktime and MobileMe everytime we update iTunes, still nobody compains. Had Microsoft done this with their software, had Nokia done this with their phones and had any notebook manufacturer done this with their laptops, they would have generated so much bad publicity that any chance of getting out of the mire would’ve been nearly impossible. But with every new hardware or software, Apple goes from bad to worse, yet it is considered to be a company made by the Gods themselves, that they are our saviours in the age of Microsoft, and that they shall bring peace to this world. They bloody well won’t if their iPhone cannot forward messages and receive proper cellular signals.

I just cannot understand. Why? 


About Vishal Mathur

Geek by day, heavy sleeper by night!

One comment

  1. mehak chawla

    I really hope some apple fan or apple employee checks out this post. And the reality sets in on him:) You have left them faceless..And yeah, its amazing how the world gets deceived just by a name/brand… yet when it comes to quotes, our all time favorite remains “Whats in a Name?” Ironical!

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